Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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