I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
