I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if only i could text you this smell
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
