that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
