Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
