Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize