I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize