So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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