Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
