Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
