Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
