I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
