you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
