what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
