Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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