he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
