Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
