Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
