I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
