Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this boner is exhausting
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's rum buckets o'clock
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
