Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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