I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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