also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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