you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
