It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
