is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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