My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
