Jerry, you need to find god
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
