We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize