In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
