So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's always time for handjobs
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We are all done wearing pants today
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
