yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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