Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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