Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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