You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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