remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize