They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
