It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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