I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
