Someone shit on the floor
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize