I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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