I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
