dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can you bring me the toilet please
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
