vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
