Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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