i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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