yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
