Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
