Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize