My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
