my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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