The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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