he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
