I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
