using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
