I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
