i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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