True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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