She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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