she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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